Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
643 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
60 Minutes Calls Chaos a 'Cage Full of Tigers'
Surprise pick of a journalist-filmmaker to lead the famously combative newsroom starts with zero calm and maximum mess.
Russia's Flagship Forum Audited by Incoming Drones
Putin's big economic showcase in St Petersburg gets completely overshadowed while delegates pretend nothing is happening
Oil Ego Meter Hits 'Demand Destruction' Delusion Peak
Decades-old term sparks fresh claims that sky-high prices won't dent commodity demand one bit
Trump Administration Discussing OpenAI Equity for 'American Benefit'
President's plan turns AI success into a government ownership pitch with slick PR wrapping.
Mexico City's Airport Ego Meter Just Hit Critical Delusion
A 100-year-old terminal undergoes a $500 million renovation and officials insist it's enough for the World Cup hordes.
Russia's Flagship Economic Forum Audited Straight Into a Drone Strike
Putin's showcase got overshadowed by Ukrainian attacks while the spreadsheets cried for help.
NYT's 'Tips' for Managing Aging Parents' Money
Five ways to step in and one massive mistake to avoid when the family fortune needs adult supervision.
Audit Flags Chwalinska's French Open Run as Error
114th-ranked qualifier reaches final only to meet the one teenager who doesn't do upsets.
Cockroach Janta Party Swarms Capital in Fresh Protest
Thousands of Indians turn a joke into a movement that still can't fix what's broken.
Managing Aging Parents' Money Starts With This One Mistake
NYT drops five tips plus the classic 'avoid' warning like a checklist will save you from the actual chaos.
Ego Meter Spikes as Penn Dreads Award Ceremonies
Actor's decision to never attend another one again turns dread-provoking into a full delusion broadcast.
Sullivan Bails West Ham as Historical Allegations Near Publication
Joint chairman steps down after learning serious claims drop soon – PR code for 'lawyers called, I'm gone'
Absurdity Audit: 100-Day Iran War Still Can't Land a Hit
Ballistic missiles get intercepted while the conflict approaches a grim milestone with zero resolution in sight.
Absurdity Audit Flags IBM Breach Coverup Claims
Former cybersecurity executive turned whistleblower accuses IBM of covering up mid-2010s incidents at subsidiaries instead of disclosing them.
Madonna Orders Phone Ban at Confessions Screening
An absurdity audit reveals the queen of pop demanding raw experience while technology made her famous.
IBM's Breach Coverup Gets Roasted in Its Own Audit
Former cybersecurity executive turned whistleblower accuses the company of hiding subsidiary disasters like it was standard procedure.
Absurdity Audit: IBM's Breach Cover-Up Gets Formalized
A former cybersecurity executive accuses the firm of not disclosing incidents across subsidiaries in the mid-2010s.
Putin's 'No Point' Line Decodes as Refusal to Face Zelensky
The Russian president's spin turns a meeting refusal into strategic wisdom while dodging any actual talks.