Absurdity Audit Report: IBM Data Practices, Case #2010s
Finding 1: A former executive turned whistleblower claims several breaches hit IBM and its subsidiaries during the mid-2010s. The company allegedly responded by covering evidence rather than notifying anyone affected. This is the corporate equivalent of spotting a leak in the vault, then bolting the door from the outside so no one notices the missing cash.
Finding 2: Active decisions to skip disclosing the incidents apparently came from the same cybersecurity leadership now testifying against it. When the people hired to prevent breaches decide hiding them is the better strategy, the audit quickly shifts from technical failure to institutional self-preservation.
Finding 3: Subsidiary companies followed the parent playbook, leaving customers in the dark for years. The pattern suggests a repeatable process: detect, contain, conceal, repeat. Efficiency at its finest, assuming the goal is never getting caught.
Devastating Verdict: When your own former cybersecurity executive decides the public record needs correcting, the systems weren't just breached. They were managed that way on purpose.
