Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
647 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
HELLO! Magazine's Creepy Celeb Death Ticker
Scrolling past the glamour for a live feed of who's checked out—because mortality sells
Jane McDonald's 11th Album Cruises Straight to #1 – Sanity Check Needed
Eleventh time's the charm? How one cruise ship crooner just hijacked the charts while the music biz scratches its head.
Bachelor Bends Rules for TikTok Trainwreck, Eats Backfire
Reality TV's golden rule? Nah, we'll make an exception for drama magnets – what could go wrong?
Jane McDonald’s 11th Album Cruises to #1 – Physics Defied
How does a cruise ship lounge legend outsell everyone with album numero once-again?
Craig Melvin's Mom-Nap Fury: Bitcoin Bait or TV Stunt?
TMZ ransom notes and crypto tips? Morning TV just scripted its own bad thriller.
HELLO! Mag: Celeb Drama on Infinite Loop
Relationships hotter than lava, breakups colder than your ex's texts—endless celeb soap for the masses
Clavicular Looksmaxxer Cuffed in Florida
Viral bone-bro's attractiveness quest crashes into reality's mugshot filter.
Viral Dog Escape Saga: Total AI Fabric-A-Thon
Seven kidnapped pups Houdini their way home? Nope, just pixels punking the internet.
DHS Funded Like a Half-Assed DIY Kit
Senate greenlights bureaucracy bucks but ghosts immigration enforcement—shutdown limbo hits peak absurdity
Savannah's Mom Hunt: 'Today' Return Is Her 'Purpose'?
Because scanning the sofa cushions from Studio 1A is peak detective work.
USA Today's Tech Section Is Just Best Buy's Newsletter
Breaking: journalism discovered a 12% discount on JBL earbuds. We have a developing situation.
Tech Giants May Face Consequences, Experts Unsure What Those Are
Two jury verdicts walk into a bar. Section 230 has never been more nervous.
Buffalo Loses To Boston, Sun Rises In East
Yahoo Sports uploaded 'highlights' from a Sabres loss. Bold use of the word highlights.
USA Today's Sports Page Is Just A Website Description
Breaking: a sports outlet confirms it covers sports, in what analysts are calling 'a sentence'
Iran Claims F/A-18 Kill; Jet Files Flight Plan Home
Nothing says 'direct hit' like the thing you hit flying away and finishing its shift.
USA Today's Big Story Is: They Still Exist
A newspaper published a website. The website described the newspaper. No one was harmed.
March Madness: Where Your Bracket Goes to Die and Your Boss Pretends Not to Notice
64 teams, 10 seconds of confidence, and a lifetime of bracket regret.
The Social Network Where Failure Is Rebranded as a Journey
Where layoffs become plot twists and $40M raises are actually about resilience.