Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
643 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
Paris Hilton's Mini-Me Easter: Twinning Toddlers & Oprah Bags
Celeb news peaks at 'cutesie crew' photos and $34 farm-wife frocks—humanity's real heroes strike again
TMZ Drops Serial Killer Mic: Heuermann's Mega Guilty Plea
Seven murders confessed, eighth TBD—entertainment news hits peak absurdity.
Iran Rescue: Action Flick or Actual Fiasco?
Dozens of planes, sneaky tricks, and a war deadline—because real life needed more Michael Bay.
UConn's Title Threesome: Big Game Bangers or Bracket Bullies?
Huskies eye third ring in four years—opponents left wondering if they packed enough therapy sessions.
Elon's Circus: Fires Everywhere, Investors Clap
Tesla tanks, X flops, SpaceX explodes—yet Wall Street's still swiping right on Musk.
BBC Homepage: The News Buffet Black Hole
Sports! Climate! Innovation! It's all here... until your eyes glaze over in category overload.
USA TODAY: The News Equivalent of Elevator Muzak
Award-winning everything: sports, stocks, cat videos – zero flavor, infinite filler.
UConn's Big-Game Cheat Code: Title III Loading
In a tournament built on chaos, these guys treat Final Fours like Tuesday practices. Who's stopping the machine?
NBC News: Teasers So Tiny, They're Micro-News
Diagnoses, dismissals, and gas-price doom served in snack-sized panic bites—because who has time for full stories?
UConn's Big-Game Bonanza: March Snoozefest?
Huskies chase third title in four years like it's just another Tuesday scrimmage.
Today Star's Mom Ghosts, She Goes Viral on Faith
Missing mom? Time for a heartfelt video essay. Priorities, people.
Savannah's Return: Fans Siege NBC Like It's Woodstock
TMZ hypes morning anchor comeback as if she slayed a dragon, not just read the weather.
BBC Football: The Infinite Scroll of Meh
Latest news? More like yesterday's scores microwaved with transfer gossip.
ESPN: Serving Addiction, Not Sports
Anytime? Anywhere? Buddy, that's not service—that's a 24/7 shank to your free time.
Tariffs Go Nuclear: Businesses Whine, Get Walloped
Complain about a tickle on imports? Enjoy the full-body economic haymaker instead.
Indian Express Biz: Ticker Tape Toilet Paper
Endless stocks, gold rates, and petrol pumps—business 'news' that's just numbers taking a dump on your feed.
TMZ's Birthday Bash: Bikini Autopsy Edition
Nothing screams 'happy birthday' like exhuming workout pics for the masses.
Celebs Cram Four Holidays into One Outfit
Khloe, Blake & Gwen turn Easter, Passover, Eid and Nowruz into Instagram's ultimate mashup fail