Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
643 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
SpaceX Alum Raises $54M on 'Untapped' Ocean Geothermal
Endurance Energy is betting investors will harness massive amounts of energy no one has actually reached yet.
Oil Flips on Thin Trade as Threats Target Iranian Hubs
Traders spin presidential saber-rattling into market signals while the actual volume stays suspiciously light.
Gold Drops Third Day as Fresh Strikes Target Iran
Absurdity audit flags investors treating escalation like a discount on the ultimate hedge asset.
Hollywood Unions Trade Strikes for Sleepy Four-Year Contracts
After history-making 2023 action, this year's negotiation yielded easy deals as work becomes scarce for members
Audit: Iranian Drone Turns $25M Helicopter Into Midair Scrap
US military learns the hard way that cheap hardware plus dumb luck still beats expensive ego every time.
Ukraine Drones Turn 'Complicating Rotations' Into Fuel Shortages
Midrange strikes expose how Ukraine produces upgrades that hit Russian logistics exactly where it hurts most.
Zest App Claims Receipts Are the New AI Oracle
Transaction data now powers 'real' restaurant recommendations because your frequent spots weren't obvious enough.
Ego Meter Cracks: Americans Demand Ebola VIP Lane in Kenya
Hundreds protest an exclusively American quarantine facility as political egos hit critical mass.
Regulators Bar Prediction Markets From Injury Contracts
CFTC says no more betting on officiating or player injuries because information is apparently dangerous now.
NBC's Firsts Flex: Ego Meter Explodes Over Broadcasting History
A century of first-to-market bullshit turns late-night into the ultimate delusion parade.
Commerzbank Casts Shade on UniCredit Bid Acceptance Numbers
When a takeover acceptance rate needs a second opinion, you know the support story is already leaking.
Ukraine's Midrange Drones Turn Russian Rotations Into Fuel Hell
Huge production runs expose how shortages keep complicating the whole supply chain for the Russians.
Ego Meter Spikes: Kardashian-Hamilton Monaco Makeout
A three-day support weekend turns into the loudest stealth session in F1 history.
Absurdity Audit Slams Tech's Expensive AI Addiction
Report finds workloads could be handled by cheaper models without affecting results, rewriting the economics overnight.
Summer House Ego Meter Spikes Hard in Three-Part Reunion
Tonight's emotional gathering concludes with the cast treating their Bravo reunion like a TED Talk on their own magnificence.
Interpol's Ton of Hype Lands at Partisan
Long-running band serves up album news while Universal Music Publishing spruces its logo for no reason
Democrats Bank $50M Shot at Cracking Conservative Strongholds
American Bridge labels red turf 'vulnerable' while history says Republicans own the deed.
Wall Street Calls Tech Exodus a 'Rotation'
Investors are ditching all-weather earnings for anything promising better prospects while uncertainty still looms.