Topic
Big Tech
Satire
Roasts of the companies running the algorithm-industrial complex.
Big Tech satire — the trillion-dollar handful who run the algorithm-industrial complex. We roast NVIDIA earnings theater, Meta's pivots, Google's AI lurch, Amazon's warehouse drama, and the Silicon Valley founder mythology that powers it all.
42 roasts in this topic and counting.
Every Big Techroast we've published
- tech·SPICY 75
Absurdity Audit: NASA Sheltered Astronauts in Dragon Over Leaks
Roscosmos findings force brief shelter as Russian module springs more holes than a colander in orbit.
- tech·SPICY 72
Absurdity Audit: Meta Flunks Its Own Ban Process Exam
Oversight board demands transparency after years of opaque account bans and AI determinations nobody can question.
- tech·SPICY 72
Absurdity Audit: Hyperscalers Finally Tackle Their Water Mess
Operators swear they're fixing availability and quality while guzzling billions of gallons for AI.
- tech·SPICY 75
SpaceX's $75 Billion IPO: AI Buzzword Edition
Historic debut or just another mega-listings grab dressed up with artificial intelligence to juice the valuation.
- tech·SPICY 73
Qi2 Batteries Sell 25W Wireless Charging as Progress
New certified models magnetically snap to iPhone yet still lose to any decent cable you already own
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Amazon Search Now Shows Products That Don't Exist
AI images let you browse fantasy clothing and home goods while the real catalog stays empty
- tech·SPICY 72
EU Plots Escape From American Tech, Forgets How Dependence Started
The union outlined a master plan for local semiconductors and cloud computing that somehow ignores two decades of happy outsourcing.
- tech·MEDIUM 58
Alphabet to Raise $80B Selling Stock for AI Buildout
Google's parent just discovered that trillion-dollar valuations still need fresh capital when the future costs this much.
- tech·SPICY 74
Borderlands Creator Drags Pixel Watch From the Deep
Randy Pitchford's underwater 'find' exposes Google's next watch before the PR team can even spin it.
- tech·SPICY 88
Meta's AI Pendant Escalates Neck-Based Paranoia
Reportedly developing hardware that tracks your every thought like a jealous ex with venture capital.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
AI Wave Drags Dot-Com Relics Back to the Forefront
Dell, Lenovo and Nokia ride unrelenting artificial demand while calling it innovation.
- tech·SPICY 75
Groq Begs $650M After Nvidia's $20B Not-Aqui-Hire
Chipmaker ditches hardware for inference while reportedly praying internal cash fixes the mess
- tech·SPICY 75
Corgi Doubles Its Valuation in Three Weeks Like Math Is Optional
The insurance tech firm just announced another $106 million raise at $2.6 billion, proving Series B rounds can apparently multiply overnight when the hype machine runs hot.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Thiel's Argentina Escape Sends Ego Meter Into Orbit
A billionaire's right-wing beliefs and US concerns fuel the ultimate relocation flex.
- tech·SPICY 74
Google Staffer Allegedly Turns Search Trends Into $1.2M Polymarket Haul
Prosecutors drop the now-unsealed complaint and suddenly everyone wonders how many more employees are quietly cashing in.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Feds Warn 'Anti-Tech Extremism' Is the New Threat
Law enforcement raises the alarm on a fresh category of danger that seems to mean anyone rolling their eyes at AI hype.
- tech·SPICY 88
TechCrunch Battlefield 200: Apply Now to Lose Quietly
Applications close May 27 for the startup visibility that mostly means your rejection gets archived with the others.
- tech·SPICY 74
TechCrunch's 'Early Bird Savings' Is Just a Price Hike Countdown
Register now or pay the new increased prices for Disrupt 2026 because nothing says innovation like manufactured urgency in San Francisco.
- tech·MEDIUM 62
Gadgets That Make Your Adulting Feel Like a Win
TechCrunch pushes kitchen robots for stirring soup and kneading dough as proof you've nailed adulthood.
- tech·SPICY 74
Starship's 'Mostly Successful' Debut: Orbit? Still Not Today
SpaceX labels another test flight a win even though the starship never reached low-earth orbit.
- tech·SPICY 78
Google's AI Spam Audit: Now Banning Your Sneaky Bullshit Tricks
In a shock twist, the search giant labels 'manipulation' attempts as spam—because nothing screams innovation like policing your own dumpster fire.
- entertainment·MEDIUM 68
Amazon's Faith Drama: Refreshingly Raw or Peak Corporate Halo Polish?
Prime Video chases 'The Chosen' bucks with a family saga that's 'not like that'—because nothing says edgy like Christianity with product placement.
- entertainment·MEDIUM 68
Bird Crashes Deep-Sea Party in Homemade Sub
Feathered thrill-seeker dives in submersible, proves pigeons are overachievers
- finance·SPICY 78
Elon's Circus: Fires Everywhere, Investors Clap
Tesla tanks, X flops, SpaceX explodes—yet Wall Street's still swiping right on Musk.
- politics·MEDIUM 68
Meloni's MBS Oil Begathon: Euro Desperation Tour
Italy's PM jets to Saudi for emergency petrol hugs, because 'energy security' means kissing the ring of desert royals.
- tech·SPICY 72
Google News Serves War with Weather
Algorithms think 'Iran conflict nearing end' pairs perfectly with your 5-day forecast—um, what?
- tech·SPICY 72
Techmeme Serves IRGC Rants & Big Tech Cyber Doomscroll
Iranian threats crash the party with DHS drama – because nothing says 'tech news' like global beef and unpaid cyber bills.
- tech·SPICY 78
Gen Z Lines Up for Payphones, Hates Calls Anyway
USA Today's tech roundup: Nostalgia queues, dead desktops, and endless headphone deals in retail's price apocalypse.
- tech·SPICY 78
Big Tech's AI Debt Party: Trillions for Glitchy Ghosts
Borrowing like broke uncles at a casino, chasing chatbots that crash mid-sentence.
- tech·SPICY 78
Tech's Triple Whammy: Screen Nannies, Rocket Bets, Pricier Pixels
UK slaps kid screen limits while SpaceX memes explode and Sony jacks up PS5—priorities, people?
- tech·MEDIUM 68
Tech News: Groundhog Day for Gadgets
Same phones, laptops, and hype—every site, every day. Wake us when it's actually new.
- tech·SPICY 72
WTO's Digital Trade Rules: Consensus? Nah, Potluck Style
World traders finally agree on rules—by ditching everyone who disagrees. Peak bureaucracy hack.
- culture·MEDIUM 68
Ex-Google MD's MacBook Gift Meets Dad's Box Obsession
Viral vid shows tech success crashing into practical parent logic—pure gold.
- tech·SPICY 74
USA Today's Tech Section Is Just Best Buy's Newsletter
Breaking: journalism discovered a 12% discount on JBL earbuds. We have a developing situation.
- tech·SPICY 74
Tech Giants May Face Consequences, Experts Unsure What Those Are
Two jury verdicts walk into a bar. Section 230 has never been more nervous.
- tech·SPICY 81
The Social Network Where Failure Is Rebranded as a Journey
Where layoffs become plot twists and $40M raises are actually about resilience.
- tech·SPICY 83
The Age of AI Has Arrived and Nobody Knows How to Code
400 commits, one working button, and a LinkedIn post calling it a 'passion project.'
- tech·SPICY 72
NVIDIA Unveils 'Agentic AI' That Still Can't Fix Your WiFi
Jensen Huang closes GTC with Disney robots and persistent desk AI while the world quietly wonders who asked
- tech·SPICY 85
Meta's AI Wants to Jack Your Mouse
Manus desktop app lets agents literally control your computer because fuck your privacy
- tech·SPICY 85
Nvidia drops $17B on Groq tech then copies it
Jensen calls it 'strategic licensing' while quietly admitting his own chips can't keep up
- tech·SPICY 85
Car Magazine Crowns Chip Bro 'Person of the Year'
MotorTrend just gave Jensen Huang their 2026 award for... reasons?
- tech·SPICY 85
JENSEN WEARS THE SAME JACKET FOR 12 YEARS
Announces Vera Rubin like it's a personality while CUDA celebrates its 20th birthday at a $4T funeral for your GPU