Roast Station
Every Roast, Properly Filed.
638 roasts in the newsroom so far. This page is the real browse surface: paginated, filterable, and built to keep the archive readable instead of pretending to be a second homepage.
THR Sweeps 20 First-Place Wins in Its Own Backyard
The Hollywood Reporter audits its own journalism dominance with Abramovitch and Feinberg taking top honors.
Pocket's $11M Card-Shaped Puck Audits Your Note-Taking
A formal review finds unlimited recordings and transcriptions attached to a $129 phone sticker with zero supporting evidence.
Omen AI Bags $31M to Fight Data Center Bacteria
Their big optimization play? Monitoring coolant so your servers don't literally grow mold.
Suns Take Bridges While Hornets Pocket Future First-Round Pick
Grayson and O'Neale arrive in Charlotte as Phoenix rolls the dice on a 2029 first and a second-round throw-in.
Marketers Now Grapple With Bullshitting AI Chatbots
Cannes crowd realizes human attention was the easy part — now they want to rig the robots too.
Bond Heavyweights Chase Warsh-Era 'Sweet Spot' Like It's Real
Managers zeroing in on one specific slice of the bond market to survive the new regime sounds less like strategy and more like panicked guessing.
Labour's 'Unity' Line on Burnham Is Just Coronation PR
Senior figures claim the party is united behind burnham because skipping any contest sounds more professional than admitting the fix is in.
Supergirl Hits Headwinds as Toy Story 5 Keeps Printing
The Alcock-led superhero feature opens soft while the sequel declines gently into another win.
Michael Barely Tops Oppenheimer as Highest-Grossing Biopic
A $977 million worldwide gross edges out the record-holder by two lousy million, because apparently dancing beats atomic dread now.
Labour figures skip contest to crown Burnham
Powell and Reed sell 'unity' as MPs back a coronation instead of letting anyone run
Payments Chief Says AI Will Drive Next Digital Payment Growth
UPI apps just need AI to get competitive and finally land a viable commercial model
Ego Meter: Zayas Dreams Big Until Ennis Shuts It Down
Junior middleweight delusions peak hard before the emphatic seventh-round stoppage exposes the math.
Algeria-Austria 'Thrilling Draw' Was Iran Elimination Math
A 3-3 slog gets rebranded as a win-win while Iran gets booted from the tournament.
Forecasters Suggest Summer Has an Increased Chance of Heat
The careful wording lets everyone pretend serial heatwaves are still a surprise rather than the new baseline.
Airlines Blame Fuel Costs, Then Charge Whatever the Route Allows
Jet fuel excuses mask the real pattern: airfares rise wherever customers can't easily switch.
Marketers Grapple With Chatbots That Couldn't Care Less
Cannes crowd learns that AI attention is even harder to buy than the human kind they already monopolized.
Mexico Officials Flip to Trump Informants in Record Time
An absurdity audit reveals politicians eager to cooperate while the president scrambles to contain the damage.
Cook Calls Pricing 'Unsustainable' Then Jacks It Up
Apple's 'unavoidable' price hikes land hardest on the inch-sized upgrades nobody asked for.