Roast Station
Politics Archive
89 roasts filed under Politics. Filtered archive, newest first.
Khalil Deportation Appeal Audit Reveals Predictable Failure
Federal court already torched the pro-Palestinian protester's case before the president’s crackdown escalates to the Supremes
Absurdity Audit: Closed-Door Greenland Negotiations
U.S. demands major role while Greenlandic officials scramble to defuse the president's seizure threats with zero leverage.
Absurdity Audit: Trump's Taiwan Freeze Hands Beijing Easy Wins
The president's willingness to ice a $14 billion arms package already lets China weigh its next moves with zero resistance
DOJ's Terrorism Hack: Mexicans Are the New Terrorists?
Justice Department instructs prosecutors to slap terrorism charges on Mexican officials for drug shit. Because nothing says 'War on Drugs' like rebranding cartels as al-Qaeda cosplayers.
Xi's Putin Name-Drop: Diplomatic Garden Flirt or Putin-Shaming?
Chinese leader's private garden stroll with Trump screams 'exclusivity'—by casually invoking Russia’s president as the ultimate 'for example.'
Streeting's Ego Meter Explodes: Health Sec Quits for King Dreams
Resignation letter drops amid leadership challenge whispers—because nothing screams 'stable genius' like ditching the health crisis for a Starmer smackdown.
Meloni's MBS Oil Begathon: Euro Desperation Tour
Italy's PM jets to Saudi for emergency petrol hugs, because 'energy security' means kissing the ring of desert royals.
Trump's $1.5T Defense Bonanza Amid Gutting Granny's Groceries
Because nothing screams 'America First' like more missiles and fewer Meals on Wheels.
Lloyds' Car Loan Circus: 30K Sue for £66M Lemon Fix
Bank sells dodgy drives like candy—now the repo repo is real and it's massive.
Hegseth: $200B Iran Tab 'Could Move'
Day 19 of the war and the Pentagon's already burned through $10B. Now they want pocket change.
Pritzker Runs for Third Term to Launch Presidential Bid
Illinois billionaire governor uses state as a personal launchpad while preaching progressive values
Fed Holds Rates While Gas Explodes
Bureaucratic zombies ignore the Iran war inflation inferno
Trump's 'Massive Blow Up' Energy Plan
Iran already hitting the world's largest gas field while Trump vows to nuke another if they touch Qatar
Trump's Got the 'Honor' of Taking Cuba
Because nothing says 'genius dealmaker' like announcing you're conquering an island mid-Iran war
Judge Bans Proof That AI Runs the Government
DOGE staffers casually admit under oath they're letting ChatGPT decide spending, so obviously the video must disappear
Elon Tried to Debug Humanity
DOGE: when a billionaire mistakes government for buggy code and real people for glitches
DOGE Staffer: 'Yeah, We Couldn't Cut Shit'
Musk's crack team of geniuses admits under oath they failed to lower the deficit by even one cent